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Idiocy of the 

Indian Protection of Women from Domestic Violence 

It is foretold! The torrential flow of inexorable destiny!

16. The need for a code for Indian Married Life

What the Act fails in

The government endeavour, the codes in the vernacular and the strivings of the religions

About the word Obey


Now, let come to the final part.

What the Act fails in: What is to be done is to protect the basic unit of society. That is the unit called family. In this proposition, the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act totally fails. Moreover there is no spirit or endeavour in its wordings to save the family from destruction. It aims at its total disintegration. The way the police powers and intervention are being invoked is in a most inconsiderate and callous manner.

The government endeavour, the codes in the vernacular and the strivings of the religions: The government of India has endeavoured to enter into the inner sanctum of an institution that has survived the various experiences of centuries of human living. In this nation, this institution has been shaped by the peculiarity of the feudal vernacular languages and also by the striving of the various religions to fortify the institution of marriage. Both have worked in opposition to each other.

The feudal vernaculars have tried to dissolve the non-tangible boundaries of the family unit, giving rights to various others like the parents of the spouses, the uncles, aunts, sisters, brothers, sister-in-laws, brother-in-laws, cousins, and even neighbours rights within the parameters of the family. The religious codes may have aimed at scuttling these intrusive rights.

It is not intelligent of the government of India to perch on the top level of this unit called family and try to straighten out the errors from the top. What is required is a studied attempt at first writing a code of family life, taking into consideration the various kinds freedoms allowable in a family to the individual members including the children. Currently it may be understood that the stupid CHILD LABOUR (PROHIBITION AND REGUALTION) ACT does curtail the right of children to work and to earn. The compulsory education Act forces children to end up in subordination to abysmal standard teachers.

What is required is not another draconian code that shall try to contain the family relationships in sharp settings, but a general idea about what are the mutual expectations in a family life. What are its boundaries, beyond which no other person has right to enter without permission. The issue of Indian vernacular codes. The different type of relationship in an English setting. Well, to make such a code really needs real guts. Who has it in India?

Yet, the idea of commitment, endearment, affection and loyalty to one’s spouse should be taught in the schools. The current craze for sex education should be dispensed with. For amenities for sex education are in plenty. What is lacking is an understanding about the beauty of love, affection, trust, loyalty, standing by one’s spouse and such other things. Ideas about what is wrong in treachery, infidelity, betrayal, cheating, telling lies to the spouse, and leaving him or her in the lurch when the going gets tough, are themes that should go with it.

About the word Obey: Now, before concluding this writing, let me just mention a word. That is obey. Should the wife obey the husband? Is it a feature of an abusive relationship that the husband insists that the wife should listen to him? Well, there is a relationship in a marriage. The word obey does not go into the parameters wherein the husband can command her to do anything she dislikes. What is permissible only he can insist. When she listens to him, there is fortification of the family unit. When she disobeys, there an enfeebling of the family unit. That is all. It can be mutual.

In the final count, the family has to be strong. If the husband fails, the family might fail. Yet, the wife may feel that she can do a better job. Well, it depends. If she can move ahead with her husband’s assent, it is good. Otherwise also she can move. Yet, a problem is being sown. What happens in life is anybody’s guess.

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