Indian Married Life
VED from VICTORIA INSTITUTIONS
It is foretold! The torrential flow of inexorable destiny!
The aspect of sex
This is a very delicate subject that needs to be handled with a soft touch. For it comes with all the complexities, that exist in our country. But we needn’t go into all that straight away, and when the context comes up, we will elaborate on them.
The Greek muscles and the alluring curves: But as a beginning, a mention of where sex should exist in a married life should be made. After one’s marriage, it should not exist in the fine, sensual figure of your wife, or in the curves that oscillate in differing shapes. Or in the Greek muscles that move with silent perfection in the arms and chest of the husband. It should exist in the mind, where the stimulation of sex should come from a real affection for the partner. So, in sex the theme would become one of giving, and not one of extracting pleasure. But to the art of giving exquisite sensual delight is the requirement to make oneself attractive and also the duty to prepare oneself for this act of extending love to one’s life partner.
Now we can go into the practicalities of actual married sex.
The first touch and the outburst of sensual emotions: Before elaborating on this theme, let me just say that the first touch of the husband has a magnificent effect on a newly-wed wife. Especially in arranged marriages, where the first physical touch is only possible after marriage. Let this physical occasion be reserved for the nuptial bed. It in itself can help a lot in opening sexual emotions in the bride, in a most effective manner. And mind you, this first touch can never be redone. So don’t waste it in a hurry.
Apart from this, there is no great need to consummate the act of sexual penetration on the very first night, itself. Let the first night be spent in talking about the so many things that need to be communicated to each other, along with periods of long, relaxed petting and exploring.
This book is not intended to be a guide on sexual techniques, but as there is some need to discuss this theme in the context of a happy and contented marital relationship, a brief alluding shall be done on that subject.
The minor distractions: One of the major things that could effect the sexual performance, is the over expectations and the tension that comes from the aim to display a fantastic act or presentation. Actually in a married life, when one is aiming for a long and enduring relationship, there is no need to aim for such spectacular displays. In fact, in the early days of sexual intercourse, there is a great deal of chance that things may not go smoothly. To put it blandly, penetration may not take place; there could be problems with erection; the bride may have severe tension, which could end up in her having severe pain; it may take sometime to find a suitable posture for intercourse; actually there may be innumerable things that may make the initial enterprises a failure. But, these things need not worry a groom or dismay a bride. For, in these failures do the seeds of success lie.
The strangled mental mood: One of the main reasons for a lot of hiccups and mishaps in this regard, is the reason that for most Indians, sexual experience is a very exotic theme. Beyond that, in this nation, most persons do live in strange strangled mental mood. Not only the bride, but also the groom, does not have proper grooming in themes regarding sex.
The exquisite discoveries: The sexual act in marriage is one long journey of discovery; of what all things a partner likes and what all things repel him or her. It should go about in a slow manner, which may take a few days. But then, what is the hurry? And there is no need to convince any other person about the successes and tribulations of this exquisite journey. What is learnt is for one another, to help each other to better the act in the next step.
The consternation: But the general case is that there is a sense of deep consternation in the minds of both the groom and the bride, when things don’t proceed as per their fantasies. Most of this is caused by what can be described as peer pressure; the general, shallow understanding of what the sex stands for in marriage, among the laymen. For, at that level, it is associated with certain levels of prowess, which may be true in a different context. This deep sense of failure, which comes from such deficient understanding, is in itself a grave drawback, which may lead to other complications such as low self esteem, inferiority complex etc.
Masculinity and femininity: But it must be emphasised that the groom should exhibit required masculinity and the bride, the femininity to proceed with this act. But the complete definition of these terms may not come in the purview of this book, for there may be disagreement on this count, especially about the parameters of femininity, as understood by the different levels of women that exist in this country. Among the traditional type men, they like their women to be coy, shy and extremely passive in initiating the sexual act. A bride who may not seem to fit into this bracket may be a slight turn off, on the marriage night for these men. On the contrary, the liberated types may prefer a more communicative person, who may even indulge in active participation in the act, on the very first night itself. But it is not possible to classify either type into definite categories. This applies to the men also. But in the actual act, a level of active participation by the female also, would lead to more pleasant experiences.
The effect of downsizing: As regards the man, there is a component of our feudal language and social set up also, which may come into play in some circumstances. Because of the severe downsizing of a person’s individuality that some of our languages may do to a person who is a subordinate or an inferior in such things as age, finance etc.; in an environment where the male does feel a stifling, he may experience a certain disability to display his full mental and physical potential. But if the same person moves out of this stifling circumstance, his chances of improving his act, as a person of individual capabilities, may improve. This may be one of the factors that it is said that a great majority of married Indian women don’t achieve sexual fulfilment, for this problem associated with language is a universal phenomenon in our country. (See my book: March of the Evil Empires: English verses feudal languages).
The essential elements: Beyond the feelings of love and affection, there are the needs of certain other ingredients also which go on to help in achieving sexual gratification. One is, there should be an inclination to build up desire, and a limited amount of eagerness for the act, which should be a sort of yearning in the subconscious. The second is, there should be an absolute level of neatness, and cleanliness in the body and in the environment, so that the whole act of lovemaking gets registered in the memory as an incident of sweet scent and sweeter scenes. Third is, there should be an understanding that the sense of touch plays a definite part, in this act; that fondling and caressing should be a thing which should be done in excess, but with a delicacy that could improve the sensations, with both the persons practising it with an aim to satiate the other partner. Fourth is, there should be a continuing atmosphere of communication between the partners during the whole act, otherwise it would feel like one is doing a procedure of acute physical exercise. Five is, as far as possible the environment in the house, where the couple are aiming to make love, should be peaceful, with nobody in an hostile and unfriendly mood, especially the parents or some other senior relatives. Sixth is, good food can improve the appetite for a healthy sex. Seventh, is the factor of sensual looks, especially in the female. And beyond all this is the need that there should no feelings of rancour between the couple. If there is, no amount of all the above-mentioned items can compensate for the loss of sensual feelings that can creep in.
The growing apathy: Taking up point number one, it is seen that there is a progressive decline in the attraction of sex after a brief period of intense lovemaking, immediately after the marriage. Many factors can lead to this apathy. But one of the techniques to bring it back alive is to build up the desire with deliberate activities. Like doing some sort of fantasising about the spouse in various stirring poses. A bit of sensuous talk with the partner might help in the case of some. Some persons even get the help from suggestive writings and pictures. Whether such things should be advisable to all is a debatable point, even though it may be said that in slight doses they may do a bit of help. But as in the case of alcohol, an excess may lead a person to extremes of emotions which are neither desirable nor healthy; and the context of lovemaking in marriage may get mixed up with the sensations of obscene pleasure.
The sickening aspects: It is good, nay imperative that both the spouses take a bath before commencing a lovemaking session, especially if they have had a session of intense physical activity. The various places in the body, where there can be an accumulation of odour and sweet should be washed and the genital areas should be clean and tidy. If anyone of the partners has a problem of bad breath (halitosis), then it should be cured. In this regard it must be mentioned that in most cases it is caused by the decay in the gums of the teeth, which can be cured with a short period dose of certain homeopathic medicine. If not cured, it can exist as a turnoff for the other partner.
The genitals should also be clean, or else the chance of the bride catching the so-called honeymoon syndrome is high.
Sensual dresses: Clean and, if possible, sensual dressing may enhance the mood. In this regard the dresses in which they look best may be chosen, and those in which the looks diminish may be avoided. A long mirror in the room may or may not help, depending on how it may affect the participants. (As per occult sciences, it is not advisable to have a mirror pointing directly into the bed). Some persons may like the look of the partner’s body, in the light of a soft, small, red or some other colour light, while some others may get restrained by it.
The irking coyness: In the initial periods, a shyness to exhibit all the curves of the body to the husband may be natural in women, but it should be speedily changed to an attitude of allowing the wishes of the partner. Otherwise each lovemaking session may proceed through a series of endeavours and blocks or resistances.
On the art of lovemaking: In our country, where a significant part of the populace has crude ideas on the art of love-making, there needs to be some idea of the finer aspects of this art. One of the best places to view the some of the liberal variation of this art may be seen from the English films. For, many of them do exhibit unrestrained display of passion, along with some the techniques involved in bringing about an outburst of passion. For those who have not much idea about what are the different ways to approach sex, in all its exiting variations, these may provide a cheap outlet to gain knowledge. But these films should be understood to be different from pornographic films, which aim at indecent voyeuristic enjoyment of crude sex. Viewing blue films and reading pornographic literature for this purpose may not only be useless, but may also be counterproductive in the sense that they may mislead the person to think that the art of lovemaking in marital life to be something comparable to some exhibition of physical prowess, with no connection to the feelings of deep romantic attachment. Normal English feature films do show only the decent part of passion and endearment.
The essentials of fondling: Touching each other with deep affection is a very fascinating experience. Generally a caressing of any part of the body by the other is a nice experience. There may be parts, which one of the partners would like to be caressed more. In this aspect, an understanding that there is nothing forbidden or wrong or dirty, when the total aim is to give much exhilaration to the other, should be there. And each person should build up a list of things, the other likes done, and touched and caressed. All these things can be included in the foreplay, which should necessarily be a prelude to any sexual intercourse. A relaxed, highly communicative atmosphere is necessary for this phase, wherein each partner can choose and change the course of the fondling, according to the inputs from the other.
Just a show of affection: A reciprocal display of eagerness to enter into physical intimacy shown by the other partner can be a real turn on for a spouse. At the same time, it should necessarily be kept in mind that all fondling, petting, touching, embracing, kissing etc. need not go the whole way to the level of sexual intercourse. For these things can also be taken as just tokens of romantic attachment and affection, and not as the techniques of foreplay. For, if every time one of the partners tries to extend a bit of display of affection into the whole course of intercourse, the other may be a bit wary to reciprocate such actions of affection unless mentally ready for the sexual aspect. Let such romantic cuddling be prolonged and enjoyed as just that, and in many times it may give a wholesome mood of exhilaration.
The caressing communication: During the whole course of the intercourse, there should be continual communication between them. It helps, for one, in prolonging the period of intercourse. Moreover there is more understanding of what the other needs, and is experiencing. Apart from this, there is no need to do the thing in a hurry and get over with it. This hurry is okay, in cases where what the man need is just a satiation of his carnal desires for the time being and wants to use the effect as a sort of sleeping pills. It can be a very fascinating experience to just prolong the peak, for as long as is possible, before the inevitable outburst of urge comes to finish off.
Painful penetration: One of the things that can cause an enduring problem could be the tension of the bride on the first night or on the first day of sexual intercourse. It could lead to a freezing of passions, causing the lubricating liquid not to appear in the vagina. The effect may be painful entry, to both the persons. Yet, this is actually a rare case. But, if the bride does exhibit a tendency to freeze from tension or lack of proper preparation, then a little lubrication applied on the genitals, could help, to ward off an experience of painful penetration. Beyond this there is a medical condition called Vaginismus, which causes painful penetration. This needs medical treatment. Some sex therapists do recommend a type of exercise for the pelvic floor muscles, called Kegel exercise.
Frigidity as a dampening factor: Some women may suffer from sexual frigidity. It means that the she would not enjoy the act of sex, and there would not be any physiological changes in her body, like the secretion of the lubricating fluid in the vagina etc. In most cases, this is caused by mental tension, or by some other factor which is acting as a turn off. By a level of intimate communication between the spouses, the situation may be cured. If not, medical counselling/treatment may be required. And if not effectively cured, this very factor can dampen the liveliness of the marriage.
In this regard, it may be noted that there are certain women who get pain on sexual penetration, even if there is adequate foreplay. This is a real medical condition, which requires medical intervention. If the bride does have this, then no amount of foreplay or other means of sexual coaxing can reach her to a level of enjoyment. For, each time penetration is attempted, pain would set in, and spoil the whole procedure for both of them.
Finale with apathy: After the sexual act is over, certain men have a habit of just curling up to one side and dozing off, without the least concern for wife. It is not at all a good attitude. For, it will only be a part of the continuing display of affection to continue with an embrace for some more time, till there is a gradual loosening up of nerves.
Again, there are wives who would try to push off their husbands, the moment the ejaculation is over. They also could deeply hurt their partners.
Ponderings on innovative approaches: And when the same type of sexual intercourse becomes stale, there can be variations, which should be discussed with the spouse in all earnestness. If it is found that there is a sort of communication block for discussing these delicate aspects, then it needs to be said that there still is a lack of perfect intimacy between the spouses.
Trivial factors that create major havoc: Now, for all this exquisite emotional experience to come about, there should be a calm and peaceful atmosphere in the home. Stressful thoughts or even other persons in the next room who bear an animosity to either of the spouses, or parents or other elders who are grumbling in the house, all these things can be a rude disturbance to the intense concentration that is a prerequisite to the perfection of an affectionate sexual experience.
When both the husband and the wife are mentally at peace and strength, the act of sex is naturally bound to be a success. Yet, in our nation, with its supremely disturbing feudal languages, either one or the other or both can be in some state of mental disturbance, from the act, attitude, gesture, words, tone etc. of some others, either subordinates or superiors or just strangers. All these may act as mental attacks that can cripple a nice act of sexual lovemaking.
When forbearance is required: There may be times, when the man needs sex, and the wife is not in the mood; or vice versa. Some sort of adjustment or slight participation may be needed; or the act should be postponed. It may not be a good idea to force it on the partner, when he or she is not in the mood. And, also, during the period of menstruation, there is need for the man to forbear.
What you eat and drink: Food can be a great aphrodisiac. And lack of proper nutritional food can cause the passions to freeze. Before engaging in a spirited session of physical intimacy, let there be a prelude of good eating, which consist of energy rich nutrients. But alcohol is something, which is definitely of a different category. A little bit may rouse the spirits and enliven the mood, but in excess, and that need not be to the level of being drunk, it can be a real troublemaker. In fact, it can blunt the sensibilities and make a person numb to the finer aspects of those magic moments of intimacy. In fact, if a person has had a nice experience without the help of alcohol, there is no need for him to imbibe the potion, for it won’t bring in pleasanter experiences.
Massaging as an act of conveying passion: Once in a while, it would be good to have a period of massaging of one of the spouses by the other. It can be done with oil or with powder, or with nothing else, other than plain hand. There is no need to do it in a professional manner. For, any level of massaging can be delightful, if done with earnestness.
Sleeping with one’s spouse: Now beyond all this is the understanding of the sublime fact that, after marriage, the most wonderful experience is the feeling of heavenly peace one gets when one is lying down at the side of one’s spouse, if affection is there.
What lovemaking can create: Having sex with one’s spouse, and being able to enjoy it thoroughly is a very, very fulfilling experience. Yet, for some reasons, most of times, for most people the extreme bliss of sex is an elusive event. This is mostly so due to the multitudes of other exasperating issues that causes to distract the mind from a full dose of essential concentration and preparation for this beautiful experience.
As an emotional and psychological medication that lends mental serenity, a good dose of lovemaking has no other serviceable substitute. Now, this theme has to be understood in its full reality by both the spouses. That is, when there is emotional turmoil or some other issues that tend to bring in negativity to the household, an ardour for physical love for one’s spouse can really be a most positive thing to happen between the spouses.
Moreover, let it be known that when times are bad, finances are crumbling, and there is a general air of failure in the air; make effort for a continuing episode of successful lovemaking. I believe that this very success, created by the spouses, can bring in a dose of positive energy to all their other worldly efforts. And where there is an absence of lovemaking between the spouses, somehow, failures also will come to haunt the household. For, the very block that exists here can somehow be the initiator of many other blocks, in one’s material life.
Moreover during lean years, when things tend to fall apart, and the future looks bleak, the keenness to continue one’s physical attachment to one’s spouse, can really create the necessary emotional force that can lend much help to the effort to cross, the difficult times.
The forbidden grounds: Now, I need to go into forbidden grounds: The themes discussed can really be argued to be beyond the purview of married sex. Yet, they are not.
The themes include such proscribed themes as of the husband and wife jointly viewing pornographic films, reading similar literature together, indulging in sexual fantasizing, premeditating on and even actually participating in group sex, orgies, or even in partner-swapping. Even though when seen from areas of cultured living styles, they may seem very, very novel, and extremely modern enterprises, the fact remains that the essential emotions behind these themes could be as old as human history itself.
Even though it may not be my job to point to the moral issues involved, I can very well debate on issues of what are the implications of these actions on one’s family life.
Watching pornography together: It is true that there are couples who have experimented with all the features described above. So far as watching pornographic films is considered, it is possibly the most harmless of all the things mentioned herein above. Yet, even doing this can have multifarious affects on human psychology.
It can be seen that watching sexual acts in their extreme explicit version does stimulate a lot of sensual thoughts in persons. Naturally, many men do indulge in this. Yet, in the Indian context, it is when women watch the same that the issue becomes more ominous. For, the lingering issue of what would a sexually aroused woman do to satiate her awoken passions, remains most unresolved in the husband’s mind. If he is a man to worry on this, naturally it can bring in problems. Yet, when most husbands and wives sit together to watch the spellbinding scenes, this concern is the least in their minds. For, what is aimed at is a grand unity of purpose; that of enjoying the forbidden fascinations to the core; for they appeal to the core of sexual fantasies, and kindles real physical sensations.
It is possible that this experience in itself may not create much awkward feelings in the husband. Yet, when certain husbands chance to live faraway from his wife, for long periods for any reasons, it is possible that some men may feel discomfited by the reminiscences of their wife’s unseemly interest in the theme of other men’s sexual performances. Actually this feeling also need not come much into the picture, unless there seem a possibility that his wife is in close contact with other men, who appear in the guise of aides and collaborators. Or if it seems that his wife is of such doubtful mettle that she can be prevailed upon or seduced, with proper premeditation. It all depends on with whom the wife is living, in the absence of her husband; and also the cultural standards of the persons involved; and even on the proximity/layout of other men’s residence to the place of residence of the wife’s.
Now, what has been described is the unconstructive and downbeat side of this activity. Yet, there are positive sides also to this activity. For one, this is one activity that can rekindle the sexual urges in a married live, where the cinders are dieing out. For persons, who do not have much ideas about the manifold techniques used in sex, viewing such themes can be a source of information; even though, a much seamy one at that.
There are many persons, many of them women, and a few men folk who have a distinct distaste to the various body organs, which actually play a major part in sexual stimulation. For them, viewing pornography can be a real eye-opener. It is true that this is a much shabby route to sexual information. Yet, in this nation, for many persons, more healthy routes are not available.
Taken in a proper and healthy mental mood, viewing pornography at odd times, by married couple can have a positive effect, in awakening sexual feelings. It can be used as a substitute for foreplay at times; yet, developing this habit to a level of dependency can be a real problem. Let everything be kept within proper limits.
Sexual fantasising: Now we come to the more forbidden theme of sexual fantasising. It is possible that both husband as well as wives do indulge in it; without the knowledge of their spouses. It is generally believed that this activity also does input in a lot of healthy enjoyment in the act of sex. Now, there are couples who have developed this art to the level of cooperative effort. That is both the husband and wife, declare what is to be fantasised by each, so that both of them enjoy not only their own fantasies, but also that of their spouses. Some of them actually describe in great detail their imaginations to the other, to sort of create an imaginary scene right in the bedroom. Some couple indulge in the more difficult art of jointly enacting out explicit sexual adventures, with themselves as well as other imaginary participants. Some imaginations do go beyond the boundaries to that of group sex or orgies. Actually, this level of united mental exercises requires a lot mental affinity; and in certain cases only one of the spouses can successfully enact it out.
Again this is an action that can have both healthy as well as unwelcome repercussions. For, the declared fantasising will naturally be on known persons. And if it chances to be on persons with whom the corresponding spouses are to be together with, then there is a distinct possibility that it can lead to complications. For one, the fantasising can really become attached to the spouse’s mind to the extent of radiating out of his or her personality to the other person. And really giving non-tangible vibes to the other person to respond.
Or it can really lead the other spouse to worry about the possibilities of such events happening in his or her absence. So a healthy manner would be to use persons, who are physically far away. Also, it should be on persons with whom the other spouse has no competing mentality.
Reading pornography: Reading pornographic literature is also a sexual stimulant. Done alone, it can lead to sexual urges. When done together by couples, it has an effect similar to that of viewing pornographic films. With all the direct and side effects.
Now, do I recommend all these alluring themes as an essential item in a healthy married life? Not at all; but, the themes have been discussed here, since the debate on all these themes are already there in the social mood. So there is no need to shy away from them.
Spouse swapping: Now let me take the writing to the extreme theme of wife swapping. Or can it be called husband swapping? And then there is the concept of joint sex with other couples. Along with it is the theme of husbands allowing other men to fornicate their wives, to get voyeuristic pleasures. Then there are wives who arrange other women for their husbands. Well, all these are grey areas in terms of marital life. I am not in a position to put in my comment to define them as aberrations or benign adventures. It is possible that there are persons who derive much pleasure and thereby have more happier married lives, by following the routes dictated by these themes. There is much talk of a certain section of the so-called officers and gentlemen in our nation, really practising this as a diversion from their uneasy lifestyles. I do not know if there is much truth in this. Yet, there is a factor of truth that these things to do take place, in the confines of certain social interactions.
Yet, as a general theme for achieving marital happiness, I do believe that the practises of these ideas are fraught with extreme dangers. Especially, when living in small social spaces, with limited physical mobility. For, once the carving for bizarre gratifications that these exotic adventures lent has subsided, and life turns mundane again, then the themes, the incidences as well as the persons involved could come to haunt a person, when they are all struck in a small space frame. Naturally, when children grow up, the presence of other persons with some level of uncanny leverage right inside the family can disturb them.
Beyond all this, there is the reality of living in a feudal language nation. When one’s wife become physically intimate with another man, the natural tendency is for the communication to go beyond the confines of formal respect; that is, the addressing of the woman turns to the intimate or less respectful form. This change in communication really can exist and endure as a dominating power on the woman. It can, in times to come, disturb the woman, the husband, and later the children. And come to exist as a haunting apparition in social circles.
So when treading forbidden paths, let it be done only after a great deal of careful consideration of all factors has been done. Among the factors that need to be taken into deep consideration, is the reality of the existence of class in this nation, with each class existing within different intellectual parameters. To cross the non-tangible barriers that this has created in the social mood, with no proper understanding of its ramification, can really spoil a person’s life forever. When thinking of any sexual partnership in the above mentioned themes, give deep thought to this essential factor.
Personally I do not recommend spouse swapping or any of its variations as a healthy venture for marital happiness. Yet, I cannot stand in judgement of another person’s lifestyle and experiences.
Seduction: This theme does not really come into the domain of legitimate sexual pleasures in a married life. Rather, it is a theme that exists in sharp contradiction to it.
It is a fact that men do continuously aim to seduce other women. It is a lingering theme in their mind. Yet, many features of civilised living have developed so as to limit the activation of this instinctive mental mood.
The restrains: One’s age, social position, official position, social status, non-availability of secure places, financial constraints, reputation, moral standards, lack of time, factors of earning livelihood and many other factors do effectively control the mind’s innate requirement to follow up on these themes. In many persons, these factors have developed to such an extent that they have effectively stopped thinking on these theme; and taken their mind to more realistic areas.
There are certain persons who do have an obsessive interest in this subject and practise it as a sort of personal challenge, and any success is counted as a personal success of the greatest level. Then there is some talk of some belief that seducing another man’s wife can give some level of tantrik power to the individual. There was one very successful seducer of women who told me that there is a strange and bizarre pleasure in embezzling another man’s rightful possession; meaning, seducing another man’s wife; much more than he could ever derive from fornicating his own wife.
In case anyone does not know it, many men do indulge in fantasising about having sex with other women, even another man’s wife; and are ready to plan for such a chance. Now, there have been many attempts by men to do it. And the newspapers reports are there of many such incidences, which failed.
Now, one of the significant features of this type of actions is that it gets known only if the act of seduction is a failure. If it is a success, then very rarely does one come to know of it.
As far as wives are concerned, it is only safe to know that men do aim to seduce them. Using many guises. It is only a matter of having living experiences to ward off these aspirations. The uninitiated, inexperienced and the gullible can fall prey very easily. Also the uninformed.
In these matters, it is not good to stand in judgement of men. For, men are programmed to fornicate at any given moment, when other physical conditions are okay. This is an instinctive behaviour. And to say that such behaviour is rare is not to see the obvious. For example, in Bombay, there are some 10 lakh prostitutes. And it is believed that each of them services a multitude of customers in a day. So a rough count of the number of persons who get serviced by them on any given day can be understood.
I have heard of one film producer giving out the word that he required ‘good looking girls who are ready for compromises, to act in his films’; the theme of ‘casting couch’ in Hindi films is now a famous theme.
One of the easiest techniques is the theme of helping the damsel in distress; that of arriving as the saviour knight, and loading her with heaps of gratitude. Or even worse, getting to understanding her vulnerabilities, including that of financial, and then bringing her into compromising positions, from where there is no way out. Once seduced, in many cases, it can end up a woman in a vicious circle of blackmail, and in positions of being lent to many other persons, mainly friends. Modern technologies like that of micro cameras do help immensely in blackmail.
Now, what is the context of seduction in a book on Married Life? Well, it is only to put in context the undercurrent of understanding that other men do get sexually attracted to any person’s wife; and they may seek to get a suitable opportunity to satiate their desire. It is a theme, which many husbands may be aiming to achieve on some other person’s wife; and at the same time, worried that his own wife is not sufficiently aware that she can be likewise seduced.
Yet, this is a theme that need not worry anyone who can steer clear off such issues; and can effectively be kept out of the purview of family debate.